Friday, 24 June 2022

Bad Joke Rising

I've written my RomCom and that's an acheivement for me. I kind of like it. Not enough to want to write the next "When Harry Met Sally" but enough to feel like a at least have a chance to get through to the finals. I haven't seen any of the stories from others in my group, but I have seen some from other groups, including other RomComs. Some are quirky, some strange, some ordinary. Mine (which I will post up here after the decision has been made) fits into the quirky category. 

Is my confidence growing?

Maybe. I'm not expecting to win, in fairness. Getting through to round 2 was already an improvement on previous competitions and I feel like that's enough for now. Any further progress would be a huge bonus, though my expectations are not that high. If I make it to the final next time around, I'll be happy, but I have learned a few things.

I'm getting better at cutting the things that don't help. I used to feel like I was damaging a story by cutting a lot out. I don't really feel that anymore.

I'm getting better at taking criticism. Admittedly it's from strangers, but even my partner is being more honest about my stories. She doesn't try to protect me from things she doesn't like, which is what I want. She's also really good at asking questions that make me think about what the current draft is doing.

I'm learning to let go of stories, rather than be precious about them. The story is written. Could it be the inspiration for other things? Maybe, but that's all it is. I don't have to perfect this story.

That's enough for now. I'll know the result by July 27th. Fingers crossed, but not too tight.

Saturday, 18 June 2022

The Bad Joke Returns

What are the odds that my bad joke that I wrote on the day my friend was buried actually got me through to round 2? Well, that's what happened. I'm actually in the middle of my 24 hours to write the story for round 2 and I don't know what I'm doing. 
So, here's my first round story.

A Most Fetid Fête

“Not those rotten cheeses again?” She was cutting up a musty block of something. The smell filled the whole house. I grabbed a napkin and pen and scribbled the words HELP ME, pretending to choke.
“There’s nothing wrong with my cheeses,” she said.
“There’s plenty wrong with them, most of which double as medical diagnoses.”
“Is there a medical name for getting buried under the patio?”
“Ha!” I barked. “Ha, ha! You’re very funny, you know that?”
She turned and left the room.
“You are joking, aren’t you?”
She didn’t look at me. I reread the napkin and gulped.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the judges said the story flagged a little towards the end and one even suggested that I could have had the female character pick up a shovel on the way out of the house. Given the day that was in it, I don't see that having happened. 

I'm a bit embarrassed by the '"Ha!" I barked.' Don't judge me. I was having a bad day. Surprisingly, none of the judges picked that particular faux pas out. It was a waste of words that could have been used elsewhere. Like dump it and the final "and gulped" and I could have maybe changed the final line to "She didn't look at me as she picked up the shovel. I reread the napkin." It would have been a much darker ending, but not unfunny. And still 100 words or less.

So, I'm on to round 2 and I have to write a RomCom. I'm in better form today and have a story I like. Whether it's strong enough to get me through to the final, I don't know, but I'll find out in August, I guess. Then we have a silly RomCom story to look forward to.

Keep reading. Keep laughing.

Sunday, 24 April 2022

A Joke in Poor Taste

It's was an unfortunate circumstance that, on the day of my new competition, I was given a genre assignment of "Comedy". Why? Because on that day I was burying a friend and was in no mood for humour.
The hardest thing about writing humour when you are in pain is to avoid spite. I know this kind of humour is very common now. Gervais revels in it. Many late night talk show hosts have made a living by it. It is the humour of persecution, real or imagined. It wallows in self pity but tries to masquerade as "dealing with the 'real' issues". It's none of these things. Can you tell I don't like it?
And yet it's hard to avoid when you hurt.
I'll wait until we're allowed to share our stories (that usually comes before the judges make their decisions) and then I'll post it here. I honestly think the tone is too ambiguous to hold it's own. We will see. Let the judges decide.
The hardest thing about writing humour normally is that, after very few reads, every word loses it's humour. You have to hold onto the core of the joke(s) against every edit. In this, more than any other genre, you will need readers. Each reader will only be able to read the story a time or two before they too lose the humour from it. You'll probably get the best criticism at this point, but they won't know any more than you if this stale joke is funny.
Once your readers are done, be sure to have a fresh set of eyes to read the final manuscript.
Then finish your work.
Then submit.
No matter what, you have to do this.

Sunday, 17 April 2022

AGAIN?!

So, I've done it again. I've entered another microfiction contest. It opens next weekend and I'm a little nervous. The challenge is even deeper this time in that I have only 100 words to craft a story in and only 24 hours to do it!
I find myself thinking about how to make a story unique in that short a time and I imagine it comes down to voice. It will be little more than a vignette or an observation. I'm hoping to focus on something fun, a quirk or surprise that keeps the story interesting. I'll have to see how it goes.

Thursday, 16 December 2021

Cut Short

It didn't work out. Sadly, I didn't make it through to the second round of the competition, but I'm happy with my story. I'm should receive feedback from the judges soon. Looking forward to seeing what they thought.
In the mean time, here's the story. Let me know what you think.

Their Man

His face was unforgettable. It had been behind the gun that killed her sister. Seeing him, Number 5 in a lineup for her stolen purse from the day before, brought back all the fear and confusion Dana felt five years ago.
How reassuring the police had been back then. With CCTV from the convenience store and my eyewitness description, they were sure to find their man.
Well, here was “their man”. Could she point him out, keep all the other details of the bag snatch the same? They would take DNA samples, right? Then match him to Shanice’s murder? She’d heard stories about DNA evidence going to waste. Could she falsely accuse him and hope?
But there was number 2. That was the man who robbed her, for sure. The comb-over and huge overbite were giveaways. If another witness were to pick him, both men might get away. Dana was raised to do the right thing, and she’d been growing past fear.
“Number 2,” she said, pointing at comb-over.
“You’re sure, Miss Carey?”
“Yes. I’m sure.”


“Hey. About number 5...”
“Officer Denton?” He looked like he’d been caught stealing. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have told you that. He’s one of ours. We sometimes ask the guys to step in. Did you see him earlier?”
That figured. He was “their man”, through and through, and never caught.
Dana decided to buy the gun she’d resisted these last five years. What might she, raised to do the right thing, use it for?

Tuesday, 14 December 2021

So Few Words, So Little Time

I entered a competition. It's another flash fiction competition. I'm starting to get a feel for the style and I like the shorter than short stories I've been creating. 250 words is VERY LITTLE. Having to conceive, write, edit and submit 250 words in a genre chosen by someone else, that must contain a particular event/action and a specific word (often the easiest part of the challenge) is even harder.
Doing all of that in 24 hours is ...
... SO MUCH FUN!

I know 250 words doesn't sound like a lot. It isn't. Writing 250 words is also not hard. Writing 250 words in a story is another matter. Formulate the idea based around a character who we have to care for in 40 words or less. Describe the scenarios (terrible, of course) in 80 words. Then there are 80-90 words to challenge the character and resolve before giving a denouement (positive or negative) in 20 words.
The most important things are, this must be internally honest and subjectively satisfying to as many as possible. How?

I've set myself a couple of rules:
1. No matter the scenario, it must be believeable! The reader must be able to imagine themselves facing this challenge.
2. It must not be irredeemably bleak. There must be some hope to cling on to. A reader can empathise more easily with a character who faces a surmountable challenge. Why? Because nobody likes no-win situations.
3. The ending must feel like it is leading to something else. The end of the story isn't the end of the story. The character must be moving forward with something (horror is the exception to this, where the protagonist may well be eviscerated by a horrid beast).

So, out of the 5486 entries for the competition, only 1150 will go through to the second round. I'll be happy if I get that far.

Wish me luck?

Tuesday, 20 July 2021

The Empty Court

 I needed a new legend of a war between night and day for an RPG scenario I'm trying to write, and this is what sprang to mind today. I hope you like it.

The Empty Court

Oíche sat upon his throne of night, turning his invisible face to look over the young world below him. They could not see him, he knew, and their world was darkness for half the day. It had been this way for many days.

As he watched, Oíche realised that many of the animals ran in fear when the light of day faded and the darkness of night took hold. As he wondered what might be the cause, he saw Chonaic, the spotted hyena, rising from her den to hunt.

“Chonaic,” he called, “I need to ask a favour.”

“Anything for you, King of Night,” Chonaic said, her mouth in a broad smile.

“I’ve noticed many of the animals run and hide as night comes around. I wanted to know if you could look at the sun as it rises and see what changes to make it so.”

Chonaic was a wiley beast and saw in this an opportunity. She showed nothing in her eyes, but smiled all the wider and promised, “Yes, my King. I will find out what frightens the animals so.”

Chonaic spent days dreaming of easy carrion to feed on, and so she called on Sionnach and Broc to aid in her quest. They schemed and planned and after a few days, Chonaic came back to Oíche with her head hung low.

“What is it, Chonaic? You seem sad.”

Shaking her head, Chonaic began, “Oh, mighty Oíche, King of Night and Darkness, it is sad what I have to tell you. An Grían says horrible things about you. She tells the animals in Soilse that you are a dangerous King and that we, the animals of Dorcha, are savages that would slaughter them all given the chance.”

Oíche was shook. “How could she say such a thing? She has never even met me.”

“Don’t just take my word for it. Broc, Sionnach, tell him what you heard.”

Broc came forward in obeisance. “She calls you ‘Blood Drinker’ and says that we bring the blood of the slain to your altars at night to feed your hunger.”

Oíche wailed in anger.

Sionnach, snuck out from behind the others, confident in their plan. “Do not let her hear you wail. She tells the animals of Soilse that you turn into a beast that hunts without mercy, howling in the darkness.”

“ENOUGH!” cried Oíche, “I will put her lies to rest. Gather the dawn walkers and the dusk stalkers to meet on the edge of night. I will not bear this insult. We will make her regret every word!”

The three looked at each other, dreaming of easy Carrion, and ran off to call forth the armies of dawn and dusk. Meanwhile, Oíche called out the night creatures and told them where to find the day walkers as they slept. He commanded them to go into the dens and sets of the sun worshippers and cut them and hurt them. Broc taught them how to smell out a set.

The war was bloody and lasted for days. Through it all, the maddening cackle of Chonaic was heard throughout the field of war. Not even rest could be found as Broc had taught the Dorchadas to dig out the sleepers, and through it all, Sionnach ran the length and breadth of the battlefield, hunting, feasting and running again, always one step away from the teeth and claws of the Soilse.

An Grían was unprepared, but she knew something Oíche did not. The other gods had been working hard to introduce other creatures to the world. They were called “people”. They were as varied in form as the animals, with tall and short stature, long and stubby ears, broad and long and flat noses, some with horns, and others with tails. Some even borrowed the forms of animals.

The gods did not want to bring their people into a world at war and so they intervened. They stopped the bloodshed and commanded the Queen of Day and King of Night to come to the table to end it forever.

As Oíche laid out the accusations that had been made, An Grían was astounded. She claimed to have never said such things. The Gods, seeing the perpetrators attempting to hide, called forth Chonaic, Broc and Sionnach.

“Chonaic, you have lied to the King of Night and encouraged him to spill the blood of innocents, while you wallowed in carrion, your cackle heard throughout the field of war. We promise, we will put the fear of your laughter in the hearts of all the people and they will ever be wary of you, driving you out and destroying your people.”

“That is unfair. Can I not have one people to eat?”

“Very well,” said the Gods, for they understood the hunt, “we will mark one tribe of people that you will always find them, but they will not die without fighting.”

Cowed, Chonaic backed away.

“Broc, you have taught the Dorchadas to dig out the sets of the innocent and kill them while they sleep. The same will happen to you. The People will know your places of rest and will drive you and your descendants out.”

“Will you give me no way to defend myself?”

“What we give you is a blessing and a curse. It will make them hate you more but will make them fear you more. You will carry a blight that will make them and their livestock ill. They will avoid you for it, but not for long. As the blight spreads, they will dig up your sets and push you away from their lands.”

Sionnach hid, as always.

“Come out Sionnach. You can’t run forever. The people will eat up your hunting lands, making them small. You will be forced to live next to them, eating their filth and hiding from their noise. They will not hunt you, but they will not love you. You will live on the fringes, taking scraps only. Even your own descendants will curse your name.”

Oíche nodded. “I think these punishments are fair.”

The Gods turned to him. “You have yet to be punished.”

“You would punish me for my mistakes?”

“No, Night King, we would punish you for your rage. You let it out so quickly, killing many and creating a frightening world. Those things you feared will be real. The people will be frightened of you, but only for a while. Your dominion over the new world will be lessened. Not half a day shall you have, but only one hour in three. In that time, many people will hide from you, reminding you of your foolishness.”

Oíche had to swallow his rage. He could not let it out now, or he would prove them correct. “Let me at least be stronger some days. Let me have this pride.”

The Gods went into counsel and thought on how they could leave Oíche with some of his pride. When eventually they returned, they had a solution.

“Behold,” they said, “we have turned the world on it’s axis. It will drift from day to night as always, but for a part of the year, night will hold greater sway than day.”

Oíche looked pleased, as he felt as though he had gained more than he had lost.

“However,” the Gods continued, “your own people will not tolerate your dominion. When the light of day is weak the world will be cold, and life will run from it. Even your own subjects will hide, sleeping for days to avoid the cold and the hunger. You will gaze down on the barren world, King of the Empty Court.”

Oíche’s rage exploded. “Then I will curse your people. I will blight them with my rage and they will rise up and slaughter their own. I will curse them with the blood lust that was expected of me and they will drink deep from their own. I will make them hate the light and they will hide from it. You will all remember the day you hurt me.”

Oíche left the gods, returning to the Invisible throne.

An Grían raised her voice at last. “His temper is frightening. I don’t know how I can protect a world such as this.”

The Gods smiled. “Fear not. We expected his rage. Take this,” they said, and handed her a silver flute. “When Oíche is at his strongest, you can play this flute and begin to destroy his sway. The power of life will spring forth and your light will fill the world again and though he may try to hide his intentions, you will see him over the edge of the world. He will try to hide, no doubt, but his domain is smaller now and he will not hide for long. You will see him more often than he will hide.”

And so it continued. The light of An Grían showed the schemes of Oíche and even when The Empty Court held sway, the Song of Light would pierce the deepest cold and bring forth the spring of life.