Imposter Status?

I'm not doing well in the writing competition scene. I don't mean to be dramatic but how many failures is a judgement?

I don't mean to be dramatic but, let's be honest, how many times do you do the same thing and get the same result before you accept that you're not very goo...

Or maybe not.

I enter writing competitions that provide feedback (even if it costs a little extra).  The reasoning being, that I would like to get something back even if it is just some feedback. Generally, I find I don't disagree with any feedback I get. Most competitions use professional or semi-professional writers to assess and analyze the work and decide, not only who wins, but what is right/wrong with the stories.

One competition host, NYC Midnight, provides a huge amount of feedback, with small breakdowns of each story (normally only a few sentences) by putting the positive before the negative. Strangely, I find that when I'm writing very specific genres (sci-fi, horror) I pretty much get the same/similar feedback from everyone, whereas when I'm writing romance or drama, I get varied feedback on individual components of each story than I would when I'm writing genre fiction.

Not to say that the feedback from my genre fiction is wrong, I just find it hard to believe that everyone is on exactly the same page.

Or do I?

Horror in particular is a highly explored genre, with its emperor at the top. Not to judge Steven King! I love his fiction. I love the way he can build characters and tie them together into believable communities and then throw them into the most destructive turmoil and it all feels so incredibly plausible.

So, what did I expect?

Nothing?

Fine! Not nothing but I'm worried about what it says about horror fiction that the judges for this are all focussing on the same positives and negatives. Has one voice twisted the meaning of horror and defined its absolute boundaries into a carefully manicured nightmare, dark, cold and predictable? I would certainly hope not, as that would confine horror to something predictable, thus removing what makes it horrific.

Based on the feedback, there is room for this story to grow into something "more", and I intend to build on that and, perhaps, turn it into something "appreciable" if not marketable.

Idea Down

I have sadly fallen out of another competition. I know the competition was fierce because the feedback I received was hugely positive.

I'll share the story at the bottom but I've hit on another idea that I think is affecting how I write. I have a head full of ideas some days. As much as possible, I try to write down at least the core of the idea before I lose it. It's happened too many times to risk.

A few months back I had a story pop into my head fully formed. I didn’t have my backpack with me and so had no notebook. Once the panic settled I grabbed my phone and tried to take notes but the idea was completely gone. I felt angry and foolish and spent two days beating myself up for being badly prepared and letting my panic get the best of me.

Fast forward a few months and I found my job (including the commute*), family and trying to make time for my health was eating up all my time. I barely had time to read, let alone write. When I went to the Facebook writing group to ask how people find the time the very first comment I got was:

People make time for stuff they care about. It's really as simple as that.

I came for advice and instead I got judgement. I'm not ashamed to say I cried.

This is the main reason I enter competitions. With a topic or genre to focus on and a deadline to meet, I find I have to focus. More importantly, if the competition connects with the ideas in my head, I have an excellent trigger to get them on the page.

I'm hoping this will be practice that gets me into better writing habits. As for reading, I have had to force myself to make some time. It isn't easy! But I need it.

Anyway, to the story. Hope you enjoy it.

One Small Step

“Amelia, is it working?”

“I said ‘wait’, Mark. You know? Let time pass?”

A tingling sensation crawled up her neck. The world was tinged violet, then it faded.

“Damn!” Amelia grabbed some tools, adjusting the connections between the controls panel and the cage just behind. She daisy-chained more alternators to the existing set. Then she whispered a private prayer and flicked the switch.

That tingle, the violet light and the cage was empty. Not just empty but filled with a void, intense cold emanated from it forming a circle of frost.

“Bloody hell!”

Trust Mark to ruin the moment, she thought as she put on protective clothes.

“As soon as I step in, push the blue button.”

“You’re going in there? Amelia, anything could happen.”

“That broken message came from me. I know it did. I’m going to find out what it means. I’m only going three days into the future. After five minutes, push the blue button again.”

She stepped into the frigid air, waiting for Mark to build up the courage.

Amelia crouched as a wave of nausea hit her.

She was still in the cage, the familiar laboratory tiles just outside.

“Shit. Mark, could you…”

The circle of tiles lay in an open space. All around her an empty world stretched as far as the eye could see. A violently severed hand lay on the edge of the tile circle. Mark.

This shouldn’t have happened. Can’t happen. She needed power. She had to send word...

* In case you're wondering why I don't read and write while commuting, I get terrible motion sickness when I try. I need to be able to watch the world go by.

TFW...

...you can't figure out how to finish your story for a competition and the deadline is looming!

Murder Mystery Madness

Here's where things start to go wrong: At the start! 

I haven't written crime fiction before.  I want to expand my skillset though,  so I want to enter competitions that challenge me to build on what I'm good at. A two thousand word story may not seem like a challenge to some but to me, in that genre, I might as well be starting from scratch.

OK, not exactly from scratch but I don't know much about structuring crime thrillers except that there has to be a twist. The twist is both very specific and wide open. Anthony Horowitz says it should be possible to see it coming or you are cheating the reader. But if it's too easy to get you have also cheated the reader. Mysteries, especially murder mysteries, are best when they're seen in the rear view mirror as you speed away, hoping that you have done enough to cover your tracks.

But I have an idea and I think it's a pretty good one. I have written 2/3 of the first draft and stopped.

Why did you stop?!

Good question reader. I stopped because I realised I didn't have enough space to write the ending I want. Then the doubt crept in and devalued what I had already written. Now I have to re-evaluate the entire thing for my peace of mind.

It seems foolish.

If I'd had my wits about me I probably would have pushed through the draft and worries about the final story later, but doubt is a heavy thing to carry through a story, so I find I need to put it down before I go on.

Bury it, as it were, where nobody will ever find it...

... until next time.

Time to go A-Sleuthing

I discovered via an acquaintance that there is a crime writing competition being run for crime stories set in Scotland and it is far too tempting.

Oh! The Horror!

It's that time of year when pumpkin spice latte is all the rage and people who hate Christmas are getting overly excited about Halloween. I should know. I'm one of those people. 

It's also the time when horror and ghost story competitions are all the rage. What makes a good horror? I have no idea. I know what I like in a horror story. I want a monster that hides until the final reveal. I want creeping dread at every turn. I want a twist that genuinely takes your breath away. 

But I want hope! 

Too many current horrors create terrible situations that there is no hope of the protagonists escaping from. This leads to ultimately dissatisfying endings where the badguy has won and to no purpose. Did the protagonists have character growth? Yeah, but so what? They won't get to do anything with their newfound knowledge of how the world works, because they died.

One of my favourite horror films of recent years was Paranorman. Not only was it a great story with an amazing BBEG, it showed how the world can grow as a result of a shared horror. That's what I want my stories to be.

So, I'm writing a horror. I'm trying to create a feeling of dread, where there is potential for innocence to be lost, for a real hero to rise, but for a community to grow as a result of the shared horror, even if someone has to make a sacrifice to "win" in the end.

I finished the first draft today and some of that is missing. I have some spare words that I can use to build some more into it. I want the threat (Triangle Man) to be unsettling and dangerous. I want the hero (Alex, age 10) to be weak but determined. What I'm lacking at the moment is a reason for him to be considering dying to save others. That's what's not there at the moment. I just need time to fix it, and I will fix it.

I Submit

Another story went in at the weekend. It felt good to be back on the wagon after a messy summer.

I did submit stories over the holidays. I just didn't seem to have the time to talk about it. My job gets busy in the summertime and I do have to put a lot of fun things on the back burner. 

Things are finally starting to quiet down, including the stressy buzz in my head. 

Unfortunately, the competitions I have been entering have strict "no publishing" rules, so I have nothing creative to share this month. I can tell you that the last competition I entered wanted me to write a drama with a character craving something and featuring a dumb waiter.

I got a story written and submitted. I think it's ok? But the chargers are not likeable. We'll see how the judges receive it. 

Outgoing - Litany - NYC Midnight 250 Word Microfiction Challenge 2022

Sad to say, I'm out of the 250 Word Microfiction Challenge. I was disappointed, because I was very proud of Litany (see below). I honestly thought it could do the business. It was not to be.

Having said that, one of the main reasons I enter this competition is because everything submitted gets feedback and mine told me one important thing: the standard of thes stories in my group must have been exceptional, because the most damning criticism was that some of the facts in my story were vague to outsiders. By clarifying these facts, my story would have done much better. 

I consider that to be exceptionally positive feedback. I can't wait to find and read the other stories from the group.

Anyway, I'm still waiting to hear back on the Short Story comp and I have another one lined up for this month. I just need to turn this idea into words. It's not often I get to put the words armillary sphere into a story.

Tis Done

I couldn't really hold off anymore, so the story is submitted. I hope it does ok, but I won't hold my breath. In truth, I'm not happy with the title I chose, but it will work out or it won't.

If I even got to the final I'd be amazed. But, hey, let the judges judge me, because I've never been very good at measuring my good and bad writing. 

Title Indeed

A bad pun of a title, but it leads directly into what I want to talk about.

Normally when I start writing a story I get a title and an outline idea straight away. This isn't a boast: these can sometimes become a straight jacket for the story and I can find it hard to break away from my original, bright, shining idea that spurned me into writing in the first place. The advantage, though, is that I have something to work with and can build on that.

Queue my February writing challenge. I decided (as I've mentioned before) to enter one competition a month this year. January is behind me and February is running out of time on me. But, there's the thing: I have the story written. It has changed significantly from the unusual ghost story it started with to the story of a young boy's breakdown in the face of his family's grief at the loss of an infant. Not a pleasant story, but I found my brain wandering to the theme of grief and it's effects on people and that's where my story went.

But I never got a title.

This is very strange for me. Titles are usually not a problem for me at all. I now find myself with three days to go and I have a story with no title. I don't even have a working title. I don't know what to do with this situation.

Any advice will be gratefully received in the comments. 

February - Not Like That

This...

... is ...

... sooo ...

... embarassing. 

I wrote my story and submitted it and the next morning I realised that I had uploaded the wrong file?

And it was too late to resubmit.

My spanish isn't very good and there were two sentences to be spoken by a spanish speaker. I had marked them in the manuscript with <translation: the phrase I wanted to translate> and later that day I came home and hit Google Translate and translated the two sentences. 

Then I uploaded the file with the placeholders in it by accident. 

I'm not sure I could be more embarassed than I am right now. 

They say you live and learn. I am learning the hard way.

February? Not Like This - Writing Magazine

My only New Year's Resolution this year was to enter one writing competition every month. I have some money to spare each month, so it's worth doing it; for the challenge, feedback and the possibility of payback.

February's challenge will be from Writing Magazine. The subscirber's competition is to start a story with the line "Not like this" and keep it to between 1,500 and 1,700 words. That's a pretty small window, but a solid, challenging target. 

That's it. Those are the only instructions. Everything else is up to the writer and I like it.

It doesn't surprise me that the competition page on the website says "You will have to work hard to stand out", because the first impulse is to go with obvious themes: a parent scolding a child; a child with poor language; the death of Switch in The Matrix. So yes, standing out is going to be a struggle.

Step 1: Find a solid opening.

How do you make that line in itself stand out? Do you start with something surprisingly soft, or do you go for something strong but perhaps predictable? Either way, it has to be an opener that introduces us to the protagonist and their character.

Step 2: Build the character to be "different".

There are only a few ways to build up a character in 1,700 words or less and make them memorable, reasonable and "likeable", not necessarily as a personality, but as a character that people will say "I like how you..."

Aim for this. Even if the character must ultimately be unpleasant, put something into their personality that the reader can hold on to.

Step 3: Break the character.

This character will have to have a flaw, something that becomes quickly obvious and is easily exploitable in the tight word count. Even better if the flaw can be exposed with the "Not like this" opener.

Step 4: Make it matter.

Exploiting the character's flaw and either saving or damning them for it must matter. Readers should feel that this character deserved what happened to them, good or bad, but maybe didn't "deserve" it.

There! That's the skeleton of this one. Time to build a character.

[EDIT] I made a big change to the story. I have found a character I like, and I'm trying to work in a twist at the end. I hope it works, but I know I'm still only developing my skill and my voice work.

Camped Out - NYC Midnight Short Story Challenge 2023

There is no way I'm getting through. I tried and submitted a story, but with no experience of the context at all it was beyond my skill to create it. I'll put it here and let others decide. 

Dear America: be kind! :D

Camping Out

[EDIT] It turns out I'm a fool. The story wasn't based in a Summer Camp, but a Summer School. I made a big mistake. I don't know if my story will qualify, but I'll find out in April. 😖

Camping Out

I'm in trouble. No, seriously.

I've started a new writing competition and the setting I've been assigned for my story is a Summer Camp. Great. I can do some research and reading around summer camps and the experience, but summer camp is a very American thing.

I'm Irish. I remember one summer our school had a summer scheme where we got to go and do some sports and a couple of visits to interesting places around the country. Getting to go to the Böse Factory in Drogheda (now closed) was a great one for me. I loved seeing how the speakers worked and how they were manufactured. Overall, though, Summer Camp as I remember it from Movies, wasn't a thing.

So, I turn where I always go: the internet. For the love of Chocolate, why is so much of this stuff promotional! Trying to find testimonial that isn't promotional is almost impossible. Given 7 days, I had to ask a friend who lived there what camp was like.

They couldn't afford summer camp. They never knew anyone who could. This leaves me in a place I don't like: I'm going to have to make stuff up about Summer Camp from the POV of rich Americans. I don't know them.

But I got lucky. I'm a member of a Discord server for RPG Players and there are a lot of Americans. I got to ask a few about their experiences of Summer camp (there's a lot of religion involved) and got some good feedback. I had to make quite a few adjustments based on what they told me, which left an already struggling story somewhat higgledy piggledy. I'm sure I'll pull something together, but I'm not sure if I can push it enough to make it real enough to get by. I'm pretty certain I'm not getting through. Given time for research and peripheral reading, I could maybe have created something that felt real (I'm remembering the book, "Night of the Moonbow" which would have given me something to work with) but I expect to get the bad news in a couple of months.

I could be wrong, or course.

Hey: wish me luck.

Litany - NYC Midnight 250 Word Microfiction Challenge 2022

It was competition day on Saturday. This one came to me quite quickly on Saturday morning from the Genre/Event/"word" prompts (Drama/Losing a key/"vest"). Once I had it written out with a few edits, my brain blanked, so there was no more work on it after that.

I still like it! I hope it's good enough to get me through to the final I hope you enjoy too.

Litany

The key to the tabernacle isn’t in my vestment pocket. Eucharistic ministers used to do all of this while we performed the rites. Marcella Cochrane had filled that role once. 

I am frozen before the tabernacle. I remembered her coming to me, begging a much younger man to save her from her husband’s beatings and belittlement. “Before the baby comes,” she’d said.

“For better or worse. That was your promise.”

Why had I said those words, that empty litany?

“And he promised to love and honour me. Is this love, Father?”

I had no answer, but she did.

“Oh, what would you know.”

The congregation is growing restless behind me. The Deacon appears with the key. I retrieve the ciborium, almost dropping it. Liver spots on my shaking hands reflect the state of my soul.

Why had I involved the bishop? He had gone to Michael Cochrane, who once again ‘punished’ his wife for embarrassing him. Imagine being more embarrassed about what the priest knew than what he did to her?

She almost died. Tommy Cochrane was born with “profound disabilities”. That was my fault.

As I hold up the Host, the congregation repeats “Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world...”

Michael’s body was found yesterday, two miles from home. Of course there were rumours when he disappeared, but nobody involved the police. Justice had been served. Nobody accused her. “Let he who is without sin...”

I cast no stones. I had done what was needed.

As always, I welcome constructive feedback in the comments, or if you just want to tell me I'm brilliant... ;)

A Step Ahead

I've been getting on with the whole "living" thing. It can be tedious, so I like to break it up with a challenge or two to myself. The current endeavour is to enter a writing competition each month. This month's is a short story writing challenge that will begin next Saturday, but that's not what today is about.

No, today is about the previous competition I entered. Once again, NYC Midnight have their 250 Word Microfiction challenge running and I'm in it. I put my story in last November (the 19th, to be precise) and found out yesterday that I achieved 5th place in my group and I'm through to the next round.

If anyone would like to read the story it is below. I hope you enjoy it and, as always, I welcome honest, constructive criticism.

Aquisition by Degrees

Her arm flopped to the other side of the bed. As she twisted, the quilt went with her. My knees were cold, but my head was full of pyrotechnics from the earlier argument.

I heard her teeth grinding, wondering if she was mulling it over too? Or was she asleep already? Without her mouth guard? Oh, but I’m the obstinate one.

I rolled myself back under the quilt. She turned onto her back, taking it further away. My entire right side was exposed to the November cold.

I tiptoed to the cupboard. It was in here somewhere. I banged my head on a Christmas tree and stubbed my toe against the vacuum cleaner. How had the towels ended up under the toilet rolls? Oh, but I’m the disorganised one.

I found the sleeping bag and zipped myself into it in the hallway, penguin shuffling back to bed. Central heating was great but I missed climbing into a sleeping bag fresh out of a hot press. And it smelled sort of mouldy.

Within minutes I was entangled in the sleeping bag. The smell was overbearing. I had to escape, struggling back under the quilt. The heat from her was so inviting, but she rolled away from me. Taking the quilt. Again! Oh, but I’m the inconsiderate one.

To hell with it. I spooned in, putting my arm around her. She relaxed against me, her heart beating softly on my wrist. I wanted to say sorry. She’d won me back again, somehow.

I'll post my story prompts next Saturday, and maybe use this blog as a sounding board for upcoming projects.

Bye!

Bad Joke Rising

I've written my RomCom and that's an acheivement for me. I kind of like it. Not enough to want to write the next "When Harry Met Sally" but enough to feel like a at least have a chance to get through to the finals. I haven't seen any of the stories from others in my group, but I have seen some from other groups, including other RomComs. Some are quirky, some strange, some ordinary. Mine (which I will post up here after the decision has been made) fits into the quirky category. 

Is my confidence growing?

Maybe. I'm not expecting to win, in fairness. Getting through to round 2 was already an improvement on previous competitions and I feel like that's enough for now. Any further progress would be a huge bonus, though my expectations are not that high. If I make it to the final next time around, I'll be happy, but I have learned a few things.

I'm getting better at cutting the things that don't help. I used to feel like I was damaging a story by cutting a lot out. I don't really feel that anymore.

I'm getting better at taking criticism. Admittedly it's from strangers, but even my partner is being more honest about my stories. She doesn't try to protect me from things she doesn't like, which is what I want. She's also really good at asking questions that make me think about what the current draft is doing.

I'm learning to let go of stories, rather than be precious about them. The story is written. Could it be the inspiration for other things? Maybe, but that's all it is. I don't have to perfect this story.

That's enough for now. I'll know the result by July 27th. Fingers crossed, but not too tight.

The Bad Joke Returns

What are the odds that my bad joke that I wrote on the day my friend was buried actually got me through to round 2? Well, that's what happened. I'm actually in the middle of my 24 hours to write the story for round 2 and I don't know what I'm doing. 

So, here's my first round story.

A Most Fetid Fête

“Not those rotten cheeses again?” She was cutting up a musty block of something. The smell filled the whole house. I grabbed a napkin and pen and scribbled the words HELP ME, pretending to choke.

“There’s nothing wrong with my cheeses,” she said.

“There’s plenty wrong with them, most of which double as medical diagnoses.”

“Is there a medical name for getting buried under the patio?”

“Ha!” I barked. “Ha, ha! You’re very funny, you know that?”

She turned and left the room.

“You are joking, aren’t you?”

She didn’t look at me. I reread the napkin and gulped.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the judges said the story flagged a little towards the end and one even suggested that I could have had the female character pick up a shovel on the way out of the house. Given the day that was in it, I don't see that having happened. 

I'm a bit embarrassed by the '"Ha!" I barked.' Don't judge me. I was having a bad day. Surprisingly, none of the judges picked that particular faux pas out. It was a waste of words that could have been used elsewhere. Like dump it and the final "and gulped" and I could have maybe changed the final line to "She didn't look at me as she picked up the shovel. I reread the napkin." It would have been a much darker ending, but not unfunny. And still 100 words or less.

So, I'm on to round 2 and I have to write a RomCom. I'm in better form today and have a story I like. Whether it's strong enough to get me through to the final, I don't know, but I'll find out in August, I guess. Then we have a silly RomCom story to look forward to.

Keep reading. Keep laughing.

A Joke in Poor Taste

It's was an unfortunate circumstance that, on the day of my new competition, I was given a genre assignment of "Comedy". Why? Because on that day I was burying a friend and was in no mood for humour.

The hardest thing about writing humour when you are in pain is to avoid spite. I know this kind of humour is very common now. Gervais revels in it. Many late night talk show hosts have made a living by it. It is the humour of persecution, real or imagined. It wallows in self pity but tries to masquerade as "dealing with the 'real' issues". It's none of these things. Can you tell I don't like it?

And yet it's hard to avoid when you hurt.

I'll wait until we're allowed to share our stories (that usually comes before the judges make their decisions) and then I'll post it here. I honestly think the tone is too ambiguous to hold it's own. We will see. Let the judges decide.

The hardest thing about writing humour normally is that, after very few reads, every word loses it's humour. You have to hold onto the core of the joke(s) against every edit. In this, more than any other genre, you will need readers. Each reader will only be able to read the story a time or two before they too lose the humour from it. You'll probably get the best criticism at this point, but they won't know any more than you if this stale joke is funny.

Once your readers are done, be sure to have a fresh set of eyes to read the final manuscript.

Then finish your work.

Then submit.

No matter what, you have to do this.

AGAIN?!

So, I've done it again. I've entered another microfiction contest. It opens next weekend and I'm a little nervous. The challenge is even deeper this time in that I have only 100 words to craft a story in and only 24 hours to do it!

I find myself thinking about how to make a story unique in that short a time and I imagine it comes down to voice. It will be little more than a vignette or an observation. I'm hoping to focus on something fun, a quirk or surprise that keeps the story interesting. I'll have to see how it goes.